8:00 AM: Get up.
8:10 AM: Brush teeth.
9:00 AM: Breakfast is served!
9:01 AM: Remember that, as a skeleton, you no longer need food.
9:02 AM: Smoke and read the paper.
10:00 AM: Ellen.
11:10 AM: Greet letter carrier at the door with sword brandished. Letter carrier dies of heart attack. So much for paying that C.O.D. charge!
11:30 AM: Drop good suit at the dry cleaner.
12:00 PM: Check email.
12:20 PM: Vow bloody revenge on spammers.
1:00 PM: Siesta.
3:00 PM: Dr. Phil.
4:12 PM: Neighbour’s dog won’t stop barking. Decapitate neighbour.
5:00 PM: Vigorous constitutional.
6:30 PM: Order new huaraches from catalogue.
7:30 PM: Dinner.
7:31 PM: Dammit!
8:00 PM: Neighbour kid comes collecting for Unicef. Brandish sword in the direction of “No Solicitors” sign on the front door.
9:30 PM: Take skeleton dog for walk; smoke.
11:00 PM: The Daily Show.
