We’ve all had the irksome experience of having things recommended to us based on the most superficial criteria, haven’t we? Music: if you say you like early Billy Joel, someone will insist that you should also get into Tori Amos since they both play the piano. Literature: Alice Munro and John Updike have both had short stories published in The New Yorker; surely their work must have tons of other attributes in common! Celebrity: if Amy Adams and Isla Fisher could play (fraternal) twin sisters, then naturally Junebug and Confessions Of A Shopaholic would be equally respectable movie rentals!
Oh — no?
Sometimes your friends don’t grasp this, and you have to explain your needs very slowly.
Yes, I would like something long and thin that could fit comfortably in a plastic container under my bathroom sink. Yes, I would like to use this thing to add some colour and interest to my hairstyle, or possibly around the waist of a dress. Yes, it is possible that it could be coiled up in the bottom of my purse without my knowing. Yes, it’s important to me that, in a pinch, it could be used to strangle the life out of someone.
No, it would never require the services of a herpetologist. I like ribbons, but not snakes.
