After its last presidential election, we learned one fact about America: it really loves the Lord. (Stick with us: we’re going somewhere with this.)
America is forever telling us Jesus is its co-pilot, asserting that He is its homeboy, wondering what He would do. It seems to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what sorts of things He would like it to do, from drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to watching Mel Gibson movies.
One thing everyone seems to agree is quite important to Jesus is that kids not have sex. That’s judged to be so important, in fact, that in many parts of America, high-school students aren’t even taught how sex works; their sex education ends with the deadly serious admonition that they not do it until they get married (whereupon it will surely be just…awesome.)
Abstinence-only education leads to one thing, people. No, not to a generation of students so misinformed about sex that the rates of teen pregnancy skyrocket — just ignore all those studies, pinko! No — it leads to happy, healthy, well-adjusted virgins who don’t understand how their hoo-hoos and pee-pees work, but who love the Lord.
